My mother just cracks me up.
Here's a little background.
Mom now resides in a memory care unit at Aston Gardens in Naples, Florida after living
(since childhood)in Rockingham. She was diagnosed with Alzheimers disease many years
ago. The last few years of his life, my Dad took care of her, covering for her when she'd
forget dates, misplace things, or get lost. After Dad's death in 2004, Mom moved into her
current residence, and she loves it. She enjoys the activities and the aides who assist her.
Her case is very different from other Alzheimers cases about which I've read, as her
deterioration (both mental and physical) has occurred very slowly. She's just beginning to
struggle with family members' names, and each time I visit, I'm scared she won't know who I
am. In May, I had to give her the "my name begins with a 't'" hint before she called me by
name. On Monday, that was not the case.
Carl (my husband) and I walked into the unit, and she was sitting at a table with her fellow
residents. Carl stayed back while I continued walking toward Mom. As I got closer, I saw the
puzzled expression, then the recognition in her eyes. By the time I reached the table, she was
on her feet, arms out, ready for a hug. As I held her close, I asked "Do you know who I am?"
She let out a big sigh that said "Don't you think I'd know my own daughter?" then "You're
TINA!." The only thing she didnt say was "Duh..."
"Want to go for a ride?" Thats all I had to ask. She was ready to head out the door.
We drove to Vickie's (my sister) office to deliver the shopping bag full of fireworks
purchased last week on a trip to the Carolinas. (It's a Carolina thing. You haven't lived until
you've been spotted "shooting off" those fireworks in the woods behind your house-- you
run through said woods... dodging trees, stumps and holes to get back home... you rush
inside, out of breath, to the living room where your Dad asks "Whats going on?." " Aw,
nothing", you answer, all the time hoping that the police car "tailing" you has decided to give
up and go after someone else...like the kids throwing water balloons at cars, or the hoodlums
who used a big wrench to open a fire hydrant, lowering water pressure, flooding yards and
peaving off entire neighborhoods. Sound crazy? It was Rockingham, remember?)
Then, we were off to Red Lobster.
On previous trips, one of us would drive while Mom sat in the back seat and marveled at the
trees, cars and new construction.
"Would you just LOOK at all those cars!"
"It's a car lot, Ma."
"Check out all those trees!... They sure are growing tall! Look how quickly this area is
growing... I don't remember that building being there!"
(Bless her heart, she can't remember what she had for dinner thirty minutes after shes
"done".)
As far as I know, my mom has never been to a Red Lobster, but I KNOW she likes
seafood...especially shrimp. We ordered seafood platters for ourselves and a shrimp plate
for Mom.
She was seated in the booth by the window and while we were waiting on our food, she
stared out the window at the sky. It's only natural that the subject of Mom's attention on
Monday was CLOUDS. Here's how it went:
"Would you look at those clouds?..."
"Yeah, Ma, they sure are pretty."
"Look how high they are!"
"Yeah, they sure are!"
"What is past those clouds?"
"You mean, on the other side?"
"Yeah."
"Sky".
"Then what?"
"Space."
"Wonder how you'd get up there?"
That is when I realized that the questions were going to continue... and that there were NO
easy answers.
"I guess you could fly in a plane or a helicopter, perhaps in a hot air balloon... (I decided to be
creative here.) or a spaceship."
"Oh..."
By this time, our waitress had begun to deliver our bread, appetizers, salads, and then our
entrees, all in quick succession.
I should have known better than to order Mom her own meal.. She ate one of those YUMMY
garlic cheese biscuits, one stuffed mushroom cap, half of her salad...and when they
delivered her shrimp to the table, she ate two... then just stared at the plate. "I'm full"...(great)
So, Carl and I ate our meals as Mom continued to entertain us. (and boy, did she EVER!)
"Would you look at those clouds?"
"Yeah, Ma, they sure are pretty."
"Look how high they are!"
"Yeah, they sure are!"
She skipped the part about what's on the "other side" and went right into:
"Wonder how you'd get up there?"
I looked across the table at Carl, who by this time was trying to suppress a grin. He looked at
Mom and answered:
"Louise, I think you'd need a really tall ladder."
"Is that so?"
"Yep... a really tall ladder."
I couldn't resist joining in:
"I know what we could do, Ma. We could get you a really powerful rocket pack... you know,
strap it on your back, light it up and Z O O M!!!!! Right up to those clouds, Ma! Better than
Mighty Mouse! Better than Superman! All the way to outer space!"
Mom's face took on another quizzical expression, which lasted a few seconds, then went
away just as quickly.
"Is that so?..." (from Mom, spoken like a true smartaleck) Then, also from Mom:
"Look how some of the clouds are clean and others are dirty. Wonder what causes that?"
From Carl-- "Jet exhaust..."
From me-- "Bird crap..."
Mom shook her head, then asked:
"But how do they clean the clouds?"
"Cloud cleaners..."
"A giant dust mop..."
"Wouldn't you get in trouble if you went up there? Who would you be in trouble with?"
"Cloud cops..."
"Sky police..."
Just when we were having fun, a lizard crawled up the window on the outside, and Mom's
curiosity about clouds vanished... just... like...THAT!
I ordered a "to go" box, and we continued to sit at the table and admire the lizard.
Our waitress brought the box for our leftovers, and in the course of "wrapping up", she
uttered the magic word-- DESSERT. Mom couldn't finish her meal, but she was very
interested in trying a "Chocolate Wave"-- chocolate brownie/cake, vanilla ice cream and
chocolate sauce served in a tall, "stemmed" glass. I ordered one "Chocolate Wave" and three
spoons. Mom laughed a little when she heard that, as if it had never occurred to her to get a
dessert and split it three ways. It's more likely that Mom laughed because... SHE DIDN'T
INTEND TO SHARE IT!!!
That's right-- My mom wanted it all! She'd take a big bite... I'd take a small bite... and then I'd
slide the glass across the table so Carl could get a "taste". The glass would make it as far as
the center of the table, then Mom (who had her hand firmly wrapped around the stem) would
pull it back to her side of the table. After this process was repeated a couple of times, we
decided that Mom could just have the dessert! (It wasn't our all-time favorite anyway-- we
much prefer the "Bananas Foster Cheesecake." MMMMmmmmmm...)
Finally, we were finished, and as we walked to the car we were discussing how none of the
men at Aston Gardens were "good-looking" and Mom wasn't interested in anyone who wasn't
"good-looking".
One quick stop at the beach, then I took her back home--- with a promise to see her again
soon.
I can't wait!
No, seriously...
I can't wait!
Tina
(formerly Benson, as in "Streetie & Louise", native of Rockingham, currently living in
Central Florida.)
Here's a little background.
Mom now resides in a memory care unit at Aston Gardens in Naples, Florida after living
(since childhood)in Rockingham. She was diagnosed with Alzheimers disease many years
ago. The last few years of his life, my Dad took care of her, covering for her when she'd
forget dates, misplace things, or get lost. After Dad's death in 2004, Mom moved into her
current residence, and she loves it. She enjoys the activities and the aides who assist her.
Her case is very different from other Alzheimers cases about which I've read, as her
deterioration (both mental and physical) has occurred very slowly. She's just beginning to
struggle with family members' names, and each time I visit, I'm scared she won't know who I
am. In May, I had to give her the "my name begins with a 't'" hint before she called me by
name. On Monday, that was not the case.
Carl (my husband) and I walked into the unit, and she was sitting at a table with her fellow
residents. Carl stayed back while I continued walking toward Mom. As I got closer, I saw the
puzzled expression, then the recognition in her eyes. By the time I reached the table, she was
on her feet, arms out, ready for a hug. As I held her close, I asked "Do you know who I am?"
She let out a big sigh that said "Don't you think I'd know my own daughter?" then "You're
TINA!." The only thing she didnt say was "Duh..."
"Want to go for a ride?" Thats all I had to ask. She was ready to head out the door.
We drove to Vickie's (my sister) office to deliver the shopping bag full of fireworks
purchased last week on a trip to the Carolinas. (It's a Carolina thing. You haven't lived until
you've been spotted "shooting off" those fireworks in the woods behind your house-- you
run through said woods... dodging trees, stumps and holes to get back home... you rush
inside, out of breath, to the living room where your Dad asks "Whats going on?." " Aw,
nothing", you answer, all the time hoping that the police car "tailing" you has decided to give
up and go after someone else...like the kids throwing water balloons at cars, or the hoodlums
who used a big wrench to open a fire hydrant, lowering water pressure, flooding yards and
peaving off entire neighborhoods. Sound crazy? It was Rockingham, remember?)
Then, we were off to Red Lobster.
On previous trips, one of us would drive while Mom sat in the back seat and marveled at the
trees, cars and new construction.
"Would you just LOOK at all those cars!"
"It's a car lot, Ma."
"Check out all those trees!... They sure are growing tall! Look how quickly this area is
growing... I don't remember that building being there!"
(Bless her heart, she can't remember what she had for dinner thirty minutes after shes
"done".)
As far as I know, my mom has never been to a Red Lobster, but I KNOW she likes
seafood...especially shrimp. We ordered seafood platters for ourselves and a shrimp plate
for Mom.
She was seated in the booth by the window and while we were waiting on our food, she
stared out the window at the sky. It's only natural that the subject of Mom's attention on
Monday was CLOUDS. Here's how it went:
"Would you look at those clouds?..."
"Yeah, Ma, they sure are pretty."
"Look how high they are!"
"Yeah, they sure are!"
"What is past those clouds?"
"You mean, on the other side?"
"Yeah."
"Sky".
"Then what?"
"Space."
"Wonder how you'd get up there?"
That is when I realized that the questions were going to continue... and that there were NO
easy answers.
"I guess you could fly in a plane or a helicopter, perhaps in a hot air balloon... (I decided to be
creative here.) or a spaceship."
"Oh..."
By this time, our waitress had begun to deliver our bread, appetizers, salads, and then our
entrees, all in quick succession.
I should have known better than to order Mom her own meal.. She ate one of those YUMMY
garlic cheese biscuits, one stuffed mushroom cap, half of her salad...and when they
delivered her shrimp to the table, she ate two... then just stared at the plate. "I'm full"...(great)
So, Carl and I ate our meals as Mom continued to entertain us. (and boy, did she EVER!)
"Would you look at those clouds?"
"Yeah, Ma, they sure are pretty."
"Look how high they are!"
"Yeah, they sure are!"
She skipped the part about what's on the "other side" and went right into:
"Wonder how you'd get up there?"
I looked across the table at Carl, who by this time was trying to suppress a grin. He looked at
Mom and answered:
"Louise, I think you'd need a really tall ladder."
"Is that so?"
"Yep... a really tall ladder."
I couldn't resist joining in:
"I know what we could do, Ma. We could get you a really powerful rocket pack... you know,
strap it on your back, light it up and Z O O M!!!!! Right up to those clouds, Ma! Better than
Mighty Mouse! Better than Superman! All the way to outer space!"
Mom's face took on another quizzical expression, which lasted a few seconds, then went
away just as quickly.
"Is that so?..." (from Mom, spoken like a true smartaleck) Then, also from Mom:
"Look how some of the clouds are clean and others are dirty. Wonder what causes that?"
From Carl-- "Jet exhaust..."
From me-- "Bird crap..."
Mom shook her head, then asked:
"But how do they clean the clouds?"
"Cloud cleaners..."
"A giant dust mop..."
"Wouldn't you get in trouble if you went up there? Who would you be in trouble with?"
"Cloud cops..."
"Sky police..."
Just when we were having fun, a lizard crawled up the window on the outside, and Mom's
curiosity about clouds vanished... just... like...THAT!
I ordered a "to go" box, and we continued to sit at the table and admire the lizard.
Our waitress brought the box for our leftovers, and in the course of "wrapping up", she
uttered the magic word-- DESSERT. Mom couldn't finish her meal, but she was very
interested in trying a "Chocolate Wave"-- chocolate brownie/cake, vanilla ice cream and
chocolate sauce served in a tall, "stemmed" glass. I ordered one "Chocolate Wave" and three
spoons. Mom laughed a little when she heard that, as if it had never occurred to her to get a
dessert and split it three ways. It's more likely that Mom laughed because... SHE DIDN'T
INTEND TO SHARE IT!!!
That's right-- My mom wanted it all! She'd take a big bite... I'd take a small bite... and then I'd
slide the glass across the table so Carl could get a "taste". The glass would make it as far as
the center of the table, then Mom (who had her hand firmly wrapped around the stem) would
pull it back to her side of the table. After this process was repeated a couple of times, we
decided that Mom could just have the dessert! (It wasn't our all-time favorite anyway-- we
much prefer the "Bananas Foster Cheesecake." MMMMmmmmmm...)
Finally, we were finished, and as we walked to the car we were discussing how none of the
men at Aston Gardens were "good-looking" and Mom wasn't interested in anyone who wasn't
"good-looking".
One quick stop at the beach, then I took her back home--- with a promise to see her again
soon.
I can't wait!
No, seriously...
I can't wait!
Tina
(formerly Benson, as in "Streetie & Louise", native of Rockingham, currently living in
Central Florida.)
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