From my journal, dated January 6, 2008
Since my son Carl Edward moved back in, he's talked about going to visit his Me-Ma. She's
86 now, and Alzheimers disease is taking its toll. He wants to visit her often, while she still
can remember…
A little background…
CE has always been totally devoted to my parents. Throughout his life, Mom and Dad
(Streetie Benson, who passed away in 2004) would keep him for weeks at a time, spoiling him
ROTTEN! It was my Dad who introduced Carl Edward to such things as BB guns, knives,
slingshots and firecrackers.
It was at my Dad's house that I first witnessed my son flying 10 feet overhead on a zip-line
running from our pool on the hill down to a magnolia tree in the lower yard. Dad held CE up
until he gripped the pulley, and with a big "push", he was on his way, squealing with delight.
My Mom, grinning from ear to ear, waited at the magnolia tree to catch him. I stood there,
speechless and paralyzed with fear. He was only 18 months old.
With so much going on during the Christmas season, I just couldn't "fit in" a trip to Naples.
Last night, I decided that today would be a great day to make the journey south. I asked both
Carls if they would join me, and surprisingly, both agreed.
The plan was to leave this morning at 8:00AM. We wanted to get to Aston Gardens before
Mom sat down to lunch at 12:00. I got up and dressed quickly, then woke the guys up. They
got ready as I made my bed, prepared coffee, walked the dogs, checked the oil and loaded
the car.
Carl was ready next, and came out to help me. As he opened the door, both dogs (our dog
Huxtable AND my parents' dog Bitsy) scurried past him. We finished getting the car loaded,
then came back inside. Only Bitsy followed. Where was Huxtable?
Now, THIS was a major deal-- Hux was GONE!
We shouted his name, whistled for him, and searched around our building, with no sign of
our "baby". We were getting frantic. I ran back inside, got down on my hands and knees and
looked under my bed… his favorite hiding place. He wasn't there.
By this time, CE had gotten ready and joined the hunt. I jumped in my car, Carl took off on
his bicycle, and CE set out on foot in search of the elusive Huxtable Skenes. More calling his
name, more whistling… and no dog.
My mind raced back to a time in CE's childhood when I had the entire neighborhood looking
for my lost son… who was eventually found inside our apartment …sleeping under a table.
At that moment, I KNEW where Hux was. I parked my car, got out, and walked toward Carl's
car.
The windows were fogged up, but through the windows I saw our favorite big fuzzy black
pound puppy staring back at me… and he didn't look very happy. Guess he decided that we
weren't going ANYWHERE without him!
I rounded up the rest of my family and we released him from the clinker.
A few canine hugs and a couple of doggie treats later, we were on our way-- only 30 minutes
late. Curses…
The ride to Naples took 3 ½ hours, and we arrived just as Mom was eating her lunch. Well,
not really eating it-- she was pushing it around on her plate, rearranging the vegetables and
occasionally eating one tiny morsel. We watched her for a few minutes, and CE decided it
was time to "make his move".
"C'mon, Me-Ma, let's go get some REAL food", he said quietly to her. Without a single word,
she pushed back from the table and then stood up.
She had a big smile on her face.
I asked her if she knew who we were. "I know who YOU are!", as she pointed to me. I didn't
ask her my name, because I was afraid she'd say "Vickie", and then the moment would be
ruined. Not really-- as long as she recognizes me as one of her daughters, I'll be fine.
About one thing, there was no doubt-- she knew who both Carls were. Thank goodness.
While I was a little upset that Mom had on pants that clearly did not belong to her, I was
happy to see that she was wearing her new "fancy-schmancy" Dior eyeglasses.
Making a big deal out of her $800 "specs", I'd say "Wow, Mom! Look at your cool glasses!"
…at which point, she'd take them off and examine them closely HERSELF, as if she was
seeing them for the first time. She was SO cute.
One stop by Wal-Mart (a BIG outing for Mom!) for four cases of Ensure, toiletries, two new
blouses and a container of hot fried shrimp and we were on our way to Vickie's! Not that the
container of shrimp was our idea of REAL FOOD, but she LOVES shrimp, so it couldn't
hurt… IF she would eat it.
Like feeding my kids when they were younger, I began trying to get Mom to eat. While we
were walking, I handed her the shrimp one at a time, watching her place each in her mouth.
We got into the car and I gave CE the task of feeding Mom the rest. I coaxed her, cajoled her,
and praised her from the front seat as she finished the last one. It was only later that CE told
me she had been sneakily offering the shrimp to HIM to eat. I think that those two should not
be allowed to ride together in the back seat ever again.
At Vickie's, we enjoyed a quick visit that included opening Christmas presents! Vickie was
thrilled with the two lighted reindeer we gave her, and Lindsay loved her new charm bracelet.
We received several types of edible "goodies" and a Bennigan's gift card. I'll certainly put
that gift card to good use!
At 3:00PM, we headed back to Aston Gardens… Once there, we put away the toiletries, hung
the new blouses in the closet and replaced a couple of light bulbs in Mom's room. We took a
few pictures, and it was time to go.
We walked down the hallway where Mom once again (like on every visit) mused that the birds
on a framed wall hanging were one day going to "fly right out of there". ???
We gave and received "good-bye" hugs (lots of them) and the three of us walked toward the
exit, where a code is required to open the door. I looked behind me and saw my Mom
following, along with three other residents of her secure memory care unit. Oh, crap… where
are the aides?
I entered the code… and when the green light illuminated, both Carls pushed the door open
and walked into the hallway-- the gateway to FREEDOM for residents of the memory care
unit. Glancing back, I realized the clan trailing me was being trailed by one of the aides. She'll
help, I'm sure!
"You can't go with us, Mom. We'll be back soon". Mom seemed okay with that. One of the
other ladies wasn't okay with ANYTHING.
"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" she kept yelling. (No one was doing anything to her-- who needed
to stop?) I heard the aide say to my Mom, "Mrs. Benson, you need to stay here with us." The
other lady was still yelling for someone to "Stop it!". I slipped through the door and shut it,
leaving the bedlam behind.
As we left, we could hear them beating on the door, and could hear the same lady still yelling.
It was so bizarre. Carl Edward said it was just like "Prison Break" without tattoos… or like
the breakout scene on "One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest" where Jack Nicholson "springs"
everybody out of the asylum for a bus ride. Crazy stuff… Glad that doesn't happen every
time I visit!
Thanks to my two Carls for going with me today. We had a good time together.
Tomorrow, we'll clean the apartment together… or not.
Love to all…
Tina
(formerly Benson, as in "Streetie & Louise", native of Rockingham, currently living in
Central Florida.)
Since my son Carl Edward moved back in, he's talked about going to visit his Me-Ma. She's
86 now, and Alzheimers disease is taking its toll. He wants to visit her often, while she still
can remember…
A little background…
CE has always been totally devoted to my parents. Throughout his life, Mom and Dad
(Streetie Benson, who passed away in 2004) would keep him for weeks at a time, spoiling him
ROTTEN! It was my Dad who introduced Carl Edward to such things as BB guns, knives,
slingshots and firecrackers.
It was at my Dad's house that I first witnessed my son flying 10 feet overhead on a zip-line
running from our pool on the hill down to a magnolia tree in the lower yard. Dad held CE up
until he gripped the pulley, and with a big "push", he was on his way, squealing with delight.
My Mom, grinning from ear to ear, waited at the magnolia tree to catch him. I stood there,
speechless and paralyzed with fear. He was only 18 months old.
With so much going on during the Christmas season, I just couldn't "fit in" a trip to Naples.
Last night, I decided that today would be a great day to make the journey south. I asked both
Carls if they would join me, and surprisingly, both agreed.
The plan was to leave this morning at 8:00AM. We wanted to get to Aston Gardens before
Mom sat down to lunch at 12:00. I got up and dressed quickly, then woke the guys up. They
got ready as I made my bed, prepared coffee, walked the dogs, checked the oil and loaded
the car.
Carl was ready next, and came out to help me. As he opened the door, both dogs (our dog
Huxtable AND my parents' dog Bitsy) scurried past him. We finished getting the car loaded,
then came back inside. Only Bitsy followed. Where was Huxtable?
Now, THIS was a major deal-- Hux was GONE!
We shouted his name, whistled for him, and searched around our building, with no sign of
our "baby". We were getting frantic. I ran back inside, got down on my hands and knees and
looked under my bed… his favorite hiding place. He wasn't there.
By this time, CE had gotten ready and joined the hunt. I jumped in my car, Carl took off on
his bicycle, and CE set out on foot in search of the elusive Huxtable Skenes. More calling his
name, more whistling… and no dog.
My mind raced back to a time in CE's childhood when I had the entire neighborhood looking
for my lost son… who was eventually found inside our apartment …sleeping under a table.
At that moment, I KNEW where Hux was. I parked my car, got out, and walked toward Carl's
car.
The windows were fogged up, but through the windows I saw our favorite big fuzzy black
pound puppy staring back at me… and he didn't look very happy. Guess he decided that we
weren't going ANYWHERE without him!
I rounded up the rest of my family and we released him from the clinker.
A few canine hugs and a couple of doggie treats later, we were on our way-- only 30 minutes
late. Curses…
The ride to Naples took 3 ½ hours, and we arrived just as Mom was eating her lunch. Well,
not really eating it-- she was pushing it around on her plate, rearranging the vegetables and
occasionally eating one tiny morsel. We watched her for a few minutes, and CE decided it
was time to "make his move".
"C'mon, Me-Ma, let's go get some REAL food", he said quietly to her. Without a single word,
she pushed back from the table and then stood up.
She had a big smile on her face.
I asked her if she knew who we were. "I know who YOU are!", as she pointed to me. I didn't
ask her my name, because I was afraid she'd say "Vickie", and then the moment would be
ruined. Not really-- as long as she recognizes me as one of her daughters, I'll be fine.
About one thing, there was no doubt-- she knew who both Carls were. Thank goodness.
While I was a little upset that Mom had on pants that clearly did not belong to her, I was
happy to see that she was wearing her new "fancy-schmancy" Dior eyeglasses.
Making a big deal out of her $800 "specs", I'd say "Wow, Mom! Look at your cool glasses!"
…at which point, she'd take them off and examine them closely HERSELF, as if she was
seeing them for the first time. She was SO cute.
One stop by Wal-Mart (a BIG outing for Mom!) for four cases of Ensure, toiletries, two new
blouses and a container of hot fried shrimp and we were on our way to Vickie's! Not that the
container of shrimp was our idea of REAL FOOD, but she LOVES shrimp, so it couldn't
hurt… IF she would eat it.
Like feeding my kids when they were younger, I began trying to get Mom to eat. While we
were walking, I handed her the shrimp one at a time, watching her place each in her mouth.
We got into the car and I gave CE the task of feeding Mom the rest. I coaxed her, cajoled her,
and praised her from the front seat as she finished the last one. It was only later that CE told
me she had been sneakily offering the shrimp to HIM to eat. I think that those two should not
be allowed to ride together in the back seat ever again.
At Vickie's, we enjoyed a quick visit that included opening Christmas presents! Vickie was
thrilled with the two lighted reindeer we gave her, and Lindsay loved her new charm bracelet.
We received several types of edible "goodies" and a Bennigan's gift card. I'll certainly put
that gift card to good use!
At 3:00PM, we headed back to Aston Gardens… Once there, we put away the toiletries, hung
the new blouses in the closet and replaced a couple of light bulbs in Mom's room. We took a
few pictures, and it was time to go.
We walked down the hallway where Mom once again (like on every visit) mused that the birds
on a framed wall hanging were one day going to "fly right out of there". ???
We gave and received "good-bye" hugs (lots of them) and the three of us walked toward the
exit, where a code is required to open the door. I looked behind me and saw my Mom
following, along with three other residents of her secure memory care unit. Oh, crap… where
are the aides?
I entered the code… and when the green light illuminated, both Carls pushed the door open
and walked into the hallway-- the gateway to FREEDOM for residents of the memory care
unit. Glancing back, I realized the clan trailing me was being trailed by one of the aides. She'll
help, I'm sure!
"You can't go with us, Mom. We'll be back soon". Mom seemed okay with that. One of the
other ladies wasn't okay with ANYTHING.
"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" she kept yelling. (No one was doing anything to her-- who needed
to stop?) I heard the aide say to my Mom, "Mrs. Benson, you need to stay here with us." The
other lady was still yelling for someone to "Stop it!". I slipped through the door and shut it,
leaving the bedlam behind.
As we left, we could hear them beating on the door, and could hear the same lady still yelling.
It was so bizarre. Carl Edward said it was just like "Prison Break" without tattoos… or like
the breakout scene on "One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest" where Jack Nicholson "springs"
everybody out of the asylum for a bus ride. Crazy stuff… Glad that doesn't happen every
time I visit!
Thanks to my two Carls for going with me today. We had a good time together.
Tomorrow, we'll clean the apartment together… or not.
Love to all…
Tina
(formerly Benson, as in "Streetie & Louise", native of Rockingham, currently living in
Central Florida.)
|
|
|
