In December of 1995, I was diagnosed with chronic ITP, a serious blood disorder.
During the next few months, I took a vast array of treatments—immunoglobulin "drips"
($3200 each), immuran (usually given to transplant patients), decadron (a steroid) , cytoxan (a
chemotherapy drug) danazol (an androgen/male hormone), and huge doses of prednisone
(another steroid). I was the poster child for side effects. If it was listed as a side effect, I
experienced it.
I had a splenectomy. It wasn't fun, it didn't work, and I have a nasty scar as a souvenir. No
matter what treatment was prescribed, I continued to have a dangerously low platelet count. I
had scar tissue marking the "getting place" on my arm. "X" marked the spot, from twice
weekly blood work.
Over 100 milligrams of prednisone a day made me miserable… I felt as if I were suffocating.
My face became so puffy I joked that I looked like a "basketball with a ponytail". At least, I
tried to joke. I was thirty-nine… and I thought I was going to die.
Faced with that prospect, I made a list of three things I wanted before my demise… three
things that, at the time, were important to me…and weren't going to be easy to attain.
1. I wanted a computer for my children. (It seemed as if my kids were the only kids in the
world without a home computer.)
2. I wanted to drive a new car just one more time. (I was weary of not having dependable
transportation for my regular trips out-of-town for doctor visits.)
3. I wanted to watch a sunset from the beach at Key West while sipping pina coladas. (It
sounded like Heaven to me.)
Victoria had just begun driving, and in the first few months she collected a number of tickets
for speeding and/or accidents. Her liability insurance ALONE cost a staggering amount…
and contrary to our "pre-license" verbal agreement, I was paying for it.
She was performing in Steve Gatlin's "Moments To Remember", making a nice check each
week, padding her savings account every Friday. To accomplish #1, we made a deal: If she
would re-pay me all the $$ I had spent on her liability insurance, I would purchase a computer.
Presto! Within hours, the computer was set up at 211 Hunters Road, Myrtle Beach, South
Carolina.
#1 accomplished!
I began getting calls from my Dad (Streetie Benson)--- He thought I was dying, too.
"If you could have any kind of car in the world, what car would you like?
"Geo Prizm, Dad. I like those a lot."
Two weeks later…
"If you could have one of those Geo Prizms, what color would you like?"
"White, Dad… I think I'd like white."
Two weeks later Dad called to tell me to drive to Rockingham to pick up my new Geo Prizm.
He and Mom had made a sizeable down payment as a gift, and all I had to do was sign the
papers and drive away.
I asked to speak to Mom-- "Is it pretty? Do you like it?"
"Well, if you can get past the color, it's fine."
"What color IS it?"
"Blue". (She had convinced herself that I HAD to have a white one.)
Blue???? I've got a new car… and it's BLUE!!! Yippee!!!
Check #2 off the list.
Forget #3. If I took that trip to Key West, I would be free to die… and I wasn't ready to "check
out" yet.
It's now been twelve years since my initial diagnosis. I've had another new car and two more
computers and I'm still "kickin'".
I've visited many beautiful cities across the US. Carl and I drive to South Beach for lunch.
We've spent romantic weekends in Biloxi and Miami, weeks in San Juan & Caracas… but Key
West??? Heck, no! I'm not that bold.
…And even though I choose to ignore it, I STILL have a serious malady. Now and then,
during times of extreme stress, I may experience abnormal bruising or get a nosebleed… I
may feel so tired that I don't think I'll make it through the day. That's when I think that : (1) I
just need to "suck it up", (2) my platelet count is low, and (3) it's time to make a new list!
So, here we go! After much thought, here are:
The Three New Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. I want to lose about 50 pounds, so I can…
2. Go to Jamaica.
3. I want to learn to use my new LG Chocolate cell phone.
I'm thinking that maybe I can do this… Let's make it more of a challenge…
4. I want to get through one year without any communication with the IRS.
5. I want to get my car air conditioning fixed…for good.
6. I want my clothes dryer to be repaired… or for someone to give me multiple rolls of
quarters so I can quit bothering the guys @ 7-11.
7. Speaking of 7-11, I want that irritating jerk from Westgate Villas (a time share rep who
stalks customers) to be bitten by a rattlesnake.
8. In the absence of a garage, I need a large supply of Goo-Gone… now!
9. I want to sleep through the night without being interrupted by any sound whatsoever. (like
snoring)
10. I want big boobs.
I'm "on a roll" now. Let's just "go for broke".
11. I want a big bathtub/jacuzzi and gallons of bubble bath.
12. I want "Chunky Monkey" (my favorite Ben & Jerry's flavor) to be good for me.
13. I want my Mom to remember me.
14. I want Carl Edward to clean his room.
15. I want blue eyes.
16. I want a "freebie" list.
17. I want my friend Joshua to not only meet Cher, but also to give her a massage. (He's a
massage therapist and the world's BIGGEST Cher fan!)
18. I want Marlee Matlin to win "Dancing With The Stars". (Well, THAT didn't happen!)
19. I want my sister's aneurism to go away.
20. I want someone to dance with me… close and slow.
Damn… that's a lot of stuff to happen before I die. It could take months, or even years. I
might have to stick around awhile.
To Willard Scott (or his yet-to-be-named successor): May 19, 2056 is the date, so get ready.
In the meantime…first things first.
I've got to get busy. I hear Jamaica callin' my name.
Tina
(formerly Benson, as in "Streetie & Louise", native of Rockingham, currently living in
Central Florida.)
During the next few months, I took a vast array of treatments—immunoglobulin "drips"
($3200 each), immuran (usually given to transplant patients), decadron (a steroid) , cytoxan (a
chemotherapy drug) danazol (an androgen/male hormone), and huge doses of prednisone
(another steroid). I was the poster child for side effects. If it was listed as a side effect, I
experienced it.
I had a splenectomy. It wasn't fun, it didn't work, and I have a nasty scar as a souvenir. No
matter what treatment was prescribed, I continued to have a dangerously low platelet count. I
had scar tissue marking the "getting place" on my arm. "X" marked the spot, from twice
weekly blood work.
Over 100 milligrams of prednisone a day made me miserable… I felt as if I were suffocating.
My face became so puffy I joked that I looked like a "basketball with a ponytail". At least, I
tried to joke. I was thirty-nine… and I thought I was going to die.
Faced with that prospect, I made a list of three things I wanted before my demise… three
things that, at the time, were important to me…and weren't going to be easy to attain.
1. I wanted a computer for my children. (It seemed as if my kids were the only kids in the
world without a home computer.)
2. I wanted to drive a new car just one more time. (I was weary of not having dependable
transportation for my regular trips out-of-town for doctor visits.)
3. I wanted to watch a sunset from the beach at Key West while sipping pina coladas. (It
sounded like Heaven to me.)
Victoria had just begun driving, and in the first few months she collected a number of tickets
for speeding and/or accidents. Her liability insurance ALONE cost a staggering amount…
and contrary to our "pre-license" verbal agreement, I was paying for it.
She was performing in Steve Gatlin's "Moments To Remember", making a nice check each
week, padding her savings account every Friday. To accomplish #1, we made a deal: If she
would re-pay me all the $$ I had spent on her liability insurance, I would purchase a computer.
Presto! Within hours, the computer was set up at 211 Hunters Road, Myrtle Beach, South
Carolina.
#1 accomplished!
I began getting calls from my Dad (Streetie Benson)--- He thought I was dying, too.
"If you could have any kind of car in the world, what car would you like?
"Geo Prizm, Dad. I like those a lot."
Two weeks later…
"If you could have one of those Geo Prizms, what color would you like?"
"White, Dad… I think I'd like white."
Two weeks later Dad called to tell me to drive to Rockingham to pick up my new Geo Prizm.
He and Mom had made a sizeable down payment as a gift, and all I had to do was sign the
papers and drive away.
I asked to speak to Mom-- "Is it pretty? Do you like it?"
"Well, if you can get past the color, it's fine."
"What color IS it?"
"Blue". (She had convinced herself that I HAD to have a white one.)
Blue???? I've got a new car… and it's BLUE!!! Yippee!!!
Check #2 off the list.
Forget #3. If I took that trip to Key West, I would be free to die… and I wasn't ready to "check
out" yet.
It's now been twelve years since my initial diagnosis. I've had another new car and two more
computers and I'm still "kickin'".
I've visited many beautiful cities across the US. Carl and I drive to South Beach for lunch.
We've spent romantic weekends in Biloxi and Miami, weeks in San Juan & Caracas… but Key
West??? Heck, no! I'm not that bold.
…And even though I choose to ignore it, I STILL have a serious malady. Now and then,
during times of extreme stress, I may experience abnormal bruising or get a nosebleed… I
may feel so tired that I don't think I'll make it through the day. That's when I think that : (1) I
just need to "suck it up", (2) my platelet count is low, and (3) it's time to make a new list!
So, here we go! After much thought, here are:
The Three New Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. I want to lose about 50 pounds, so I can…
2. Go to Jamaica.
3. I want to learn to use my new LG Chocolate cell phone.
I'm thinking that maybe I can do this… Let's make it more of a challenge…
4. I want to get through one year without any communication with the IRS.
5. I want to get my car air conditioning fixed…for good.
6. I want my clothes dryer to be repaired… or for someone to give me multiple rolls of
quarters so I can quit bothering the guys @ 7-11.
7. Speaking of 7-11, I want that irritating jerk from Westgate Villas (a time share rep who
stalks customers) to be bitten by a rattlesnake.
8. In the absence of a garage, I need a large supply of Goo-Gone… now!
9. I want to sleep through the night without being interrupted by any sound whatsoever. (like
snoring)
10. I want big boobs.
I'm "on a roll" now. Let's just "go for broke".
11. I want a big bathtub/jacuzzi and gallons of bubble bath.
12. I want "Chunky Monkey" (my favorite Ben & Jerry's flavor) to be good for me.
13. I want my Mom to remember me.
14. I want Carl Edward to clean his room.
15. I want blue eyes.
16. I want a "freebie" list.
17. I want my friend Joshua to not only meet Cher, but also to give her a massage. (He's a
massage therapist and the world's BIGGEST Cher fan!)
18. I want Marlee Matlin to win "Dancing With The Stars". (Well, THAT didn't happen!)
19. I want my sister's aneurism to go away.
20. I want someone to dance with me… close and slow.
Damn… that's a lot of stuff to happen before I die. It could take months, or even years. I
might have to stick around awhile.
To Willard Scott (or his yet-to-be-named successor): May 19, 2056 is the date, so get ready.
In the meantime…first things first.
I've got to get busy. I hear Jamaica callin' my name.
Tina
(formerly Benson, as in "Streetie & Louise", native of Rockingham, currently living in
Central Florida.)
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